just come out here and I will go home with you...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
