First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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