Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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