I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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