Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize