fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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