you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
