A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
