I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
