remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
should my penis look like a turkey
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
