i jhust puked up my retainher.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
