Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
