There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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