If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
