I wannas sexs uuuuu
You're completely useless in the revolution.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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