shes about as inviting as chlamydia
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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