Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
