some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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