Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
