please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
