am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
