Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
