Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize