..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
