you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
