my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
