After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
