I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
