it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
