took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
