"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
