Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
