i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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