also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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