Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
