I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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