Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
