I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
