we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
