For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize