Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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