So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We need to rekindle our bromance
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
