So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
