Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
