whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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