He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
