so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
