I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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