I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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