These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
