You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
