maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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