would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
