Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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