can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
