Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
