We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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