I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
