I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
