so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
