I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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