He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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