This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
